1) You know not to mistake the policemen checking random Opencards in the metro for salesmen hawking cheap souvenirs. They are unreasonably grouchy about mistakes like this. Besides, you already know how to say ‘stupid tourist’ in Czech.
2) You regard the inefficiency and limited abilities of your washing machine with a philosophical resignation. The fact that several items of clothing are now liberally polka-dotted is now funny, instead of troubling. Czech plumbing, however, is another matter entirely.
3) You have learned that if saying ‘excuse me’ in Czech doesn’t get you through the crowd at the metro, saying it in Italian always works. Every time.
4) You can order coffee, ice cream, and beer in Czech. Life’s essentials.
5) You have developed an uncanny ability to appear at the metro platform just as the train is arriving. Also, you have almost perfected your no-hands stance for riding the metro- a modified version of the Warrior #2 pose in yoga, without the outstretched arms.
6) You know that answering the classic Czech question ‘How long are you in Czech’ requires saying both 1) When you arrived in the Czech Republic, and 2) How long you plan to stay here.
7) You prepare for a visit from your landlord by opening your web browser to Google Translate, to clear up any communication challenges.
8) You no longer notice that the elevator in your building is missing the fourth wall. How else would you be able to tell what floor you are going past?
9) You are thrilled to find so much variety at the local Billa store. Mushroom-flavored potato chips? Wasabi Gouda? Bring it on!
10) The Frappucino described on the menu as ‘coffee and milk with ice crash’ actually makes sense.
